Nowhere But Up

Alright so i made a promise to myself, new blog everymonth true? aha
iight so time to update y'all  everything is going great suprisngly. I had one of the best weekends i've had in awhile. Beautiful weather= Happier Jessica. I can't wait its going to be summer i know for suure thiis summer is going to be AMAZING. Zoo, Jams, T-Dot, Hookups, Sleepovers, Hangovers, i kinda had one last night.. LMAO i've never seen so many cocks in my life. Anyway Confirmation is coming.. HERE I COME JESUS! Speaking about  Jesus, i wrote a letter to him on my mount alverno retreat i kinda started to cry :$ i was honestly put on an emotional journey to find God. My God, i love God. Bonded with my friends it was veery gooood. There was a part when you had to walk by yourself down a path to the stations of a cross. Lets just say that didn't go very well. I was walking and a twig got caught in between my shoelaces and was piercing at my toe how the fuck does that happen. Then i ended up saying Fuck outloud i was dissapointed at myself the whole day LOL. I can't waiit until May, gonnna see my girls. (L) Reunion bby. Miss y'all like craazy.
Turning 14 May 10.. baaaaby, theeen hello Toronto Blue Jays. ;) wiith waay moore. Maan maay gonna be an amazing month. So faar seems liike (8)That we can go nowhere but up from here my dear (8)

I hope i'll make you proud.

Day after day goes by,

but the pain never goes away.

Through the years we have grown up

Now we are about to split up.

We lived, We grew.

 Teaching

each other what we needed to know. 

You came into my life 8 years ago 

and blessed me with the most

amazing friendship anyone could

ask for.  

I'll always be there for you

and I'll always stay true.

You are a part of me

that everyone will see.

You are my sister, my friend. 

Hopefully it'll stay that way til the end.

Don't ever let anyone take my place

they'll never face all the

times we shared. 

Your going to university,

i'm going to high school.

It hurts me to know that, when i need you

the most you'll be gone. 

I hope i'll make you proud.

All our memories will be locked up tight

even all our stupid fights.

The laughs, the tears, the cries, the fears

have built up over the eight years.

No matter what obstacles we face 

  i'll always be here. 

As this poems, ends

theres only one thing i want to send

Promise me you won't forget me,

Promise me you'll come back to see me someday. 

Sometimes we need to stop

analyzing the past

~stop planning the future

stop trying to

figure out precisely how we feel

~stop deciding with our minds

what we want our hearts to feel

~ sometimes we just have to go with....

"Whatever happens-happens"

My Bitch Tutor.

06:55:22 PM ] Guest : one miniute

[ 06:55:31 PM ] Acad Coordinator : Sure..

[ 06:55:54 PM ] : I am here...

[ 06:56:06 PM ] : May i have chat with them please?

[ 06:56:44 PM ] Guest : CAN YOU PLEASE WAIT! THERE IN THE BATHROOM

[ 06:56:56 PM ] : gosh.

[ 06:56:56 PM ] Acad Coordinator : Sure...

[ 06:57:52 PM ] Guest : woah

[ 06:57:58 PM ] : you have to pay 200 dollars?

[ 06:58:03 PM ] : for 3 months

[ 06:58:07 PM ] Acad Coordinator : Not at all.

[ 06:58:19 PM ] Guest : thats what it says

[ 06:58:28 PM ] : your clearly lying to me

*06:58:32 PM ] Acad Coordinator : You can select either a weekly or a monthly package.

[ 06:58:53 PM ] Guest : AND you need a credit card number?

[ 06:58:57 PM ] : this is insane

[ 06:59:09 PM ] : my parents are very angry with this

[ 06:59:22 PM ] Acad Coordinator : Thats why i want to talk to your parents.

[ 06:59:33 PM ] Guest : they quote " it's way too expensive" maybe you should consider lowering your prices

[ 06:59:41 PM ] Acad Coordinator : I have already told you about the prices.

[ 07:00:03 PM ] : You can try our program for a week

[ 07:00:08 PM ] : You can try unlimited tutoring for the week at just $19.99.

[ 07:00:12 PM ] Guest : i thought it was 19.99 for a month at least

[ 07:00:15 PM ] : im sorry

[ 07:00:20 PM ] : i am not interested

[ 07:00:25 PM ] : thank you for your help

[ 07:00:42 PM ] Acad Coordinator : PLease wait..

* 07:00:49 PM ] : This is the promotional offer.

[ 07:00:54 PM ] Guest : but your prices are out of control.

[ 07:00:54 PM ] Acad Coordinator : which is only for tonight..

[ 07:01:02 PM ] : Personal tutoring elsewhere will cost you about $20-25 per hour while we offer unlimited help at a flat fee.

[ 07:01:05 PM ] : You would get one week of unlimited help with us at $19.99 while other tutoring services will charge that much for an hour.

[ 07:01:09 PM ] : These offers are available only through chat today.

[ 07:01:11 PM ] : I suggest you do not miss the special offer.

[ 07:01:25 PM ] Guest : i understand it is special

[ 07:01:27 PM ] : but

[ 07:01:34 PM ] : think about the economy

[ 07:01:40 PM ] : many parents are lossing their jobs

[ 07:01:45 PM ] Acad Coordinator : We are far more affordable than Sylvan, Kumon, Tutor.com and all other online tutoring services.

[ 07:01:48 PM ] Guest : its not far to the parents

[ 07:02:03 PM ] : i dont care who your cheaper than

[ 07:02:14 PM ] : you should lower your prices.

[ 07:02:36 PM ] Acad Coordinator : Okay..\

07:02:50 PM ] : May i know how much you can afford?\

[ 07:03:05 PM ] Guest : 2 dollars a week

[ 07:03:09 PM ] : would be amazing

[ 07:03:51 PM ] Acad Coordinator : Sorry., this is the best price we have.

[ 07:04:07 PM ] : Really amazing.

[ 07:05:18 PM ] Guest : whats amazing?

[ 07:05:40 PM ] : definitely not your prices.

* 07:05:43 PM ] Acad Coordinator : Your range for education.

[ 07:06:22 PM ] Guest : how does it make you feel

[ 07:06:31 PM ] : that families are struggling

[ 07:06:49 PM ] : and all you can think about is making us spend twenty dollars

[ 07:06:53 PM ] Acad Coordinator : Well we are also struggling here

[ 07:06:58 PM ] Guest : FOR AN ONLINE TUTOR

[ 07:07:16 PM ] Acad Coordinator : Thats why you people are coming..

[ 07:07:21 PM ] Guest : my tutor had to go get help from another tutor

[ 07:07:27 PM ] Acad Coordinator : to our ONLINE TUTOR

[ 07:07:47 PM ] Guest : they should be able to figure it out by themselves

[ 07:08:00 PM ] : i waited for a good twenty miniutes

[ 07:08:05 PM ] : to solve one question

[ 07:08:06 PM ] Acad Coordinator : Then why you are coming?

[ 07:08:21 PM ] Guest : what do you mean why am i coming

[ 07:08:23 PM ] : its called

[ 07:08:24 PM ] Acad Coordinator : we are not forcing anybody.

*[ 07:08:39 PM ] Guest : i needed help and its supose to be fast

[ 07:09:14 PM ] : and i cant believe

[ 07:09:18 PM ] : you cant lower your prices

[ 07:09:24 PM ] : for a low income family

[ 07:09:29 PM ] : i am devistated.

[ 07:09:46 PM ] : i am telling all my friends that this tutor is racist.

*[ 07:10:49 PM ] : and may i ask you

[ 07:10:54 PM ] : how are you struggling

[ 07:11:23 PM ] : you made this website to tutor children and if you dont like it get another job that pays better

[ 07:11:24 PM ] Acad Coordinator : Sorry, i don't have time to explain that to you.

[ 07:11:32 PM ] : Thank You for visiting TutorVista.

[ 07:11:55 PM ] Guest : we dont have a second chance

[ 07:12:13 PM ] : you do were trying to do well in school

[ 07:12:24 PM ] : and if we dont have the proper tutors we'll end up like you.

*[ 07:12:34 PM ] : not sucsesful

[ 07:12:45 PM ] : *struggling*

[ 07:12:57 PM ] : think about it. how pathetic you are

[ 07:13:27 PM ] : i asked you for a simple math question so when i grow up i could be a mathematician

[ 07:13:38 PM ] : and i want to continue getting better in math

[ 07:13:42 PM ] : BUT I CANT

[ 07:13:51 PM ] : IF I CANT AFFORD TO PAY FOR YOUR CLASSES

[ 07:14:00 PM ] : im dissapointed

07:14:12 PM ] Acad Coordinator : I am sorry for being rude.

Acad Coordinator: i understand your concern..

Acad Coordinator: I want you to try this once...

Acad Coordinator: And can see how does it helps you in all your academics

Guest: wow you are clearly blind

Guest: i told you i cant afford to pay for your classes

Guest: if you lower your prices maybe i will

Acad Coordinator: I have alredy told you..

Acad Coordinator: I understand your concern..

Acad Coordinator: And i am not blind

Acad Coordinator: Thank You for visiting TutorVista.

Guest: k listen

Guest: if you're going to leave

Guest: just leave and stop saying

*Guest: "thank you for visiting tutor vista"

Guest: and if you understand my fucking concern you would lower your goddamn prices.

Take Me Away

Grade 8? suppose to be the best year of elementary d-joke, starting out to be the worst. Loossing friendships, fights. Even though im not liking this yeaar, im like wishing it away. I really dont want to..because i want to make the best of it with my wife. im gonna miss jess uggh shes life and if i said nothing will change we'll still be good friends i'd be lying. We'd both try to keep it the same, but it'll be hard. I just want you to know.. that i'll always be your wife and on facebook im not taking you out of my relationship status.. never. You'd prob be the first one too. I honestly know how it feels to care about someone so much then they're gone. Wifee, i'll never be gone, ill always be here for you no mattter what, I promise. I Love You :) Never Forget.

Most of you prob think im over this guy truth is i dont know i know hes the ugly.. but honestly i dont go for looks its all about personality. when i found out it took him 2 years kinda made me happy/sad remembering all the good times. Then today talking to his gf he pulls her aside and they make out aha.. kinda awkward nawh? Then this other guy comes to my life and rofl im not going to tell you what he did to me, just going over it will just break me. Amazing how i went from a sweet ugly guy to a Hot jerk. It's funny how you eliminate the people that care about you from your life and replace them with people who could care less.. true? Anyway, Every ones going on vacation i seriously need to go on one bro. what the eff.. newfoundland? oh I'll be sure to bring you back a salmon. -_- I wanna go somewhere far like Russia, ah one of my lifetime goals to travel to Russia develop the accent then bring it back to Canada aha. anyway, back to "friends," to be honesst im kina actually surprised how things are turning out becoming closeer to people i thought didn't give craaap about me. Then witnessing my good friends change before my eyes, to something im afraid they'll continue to become. I can't wait to see how grade 9 will be.. all i know is that I'm gonna stick with this girl for a looong timme. She changed a lot of things in my lifee, and safe to say if she wasn't here neither would i trust. I can't even begin to imagine what life would be like without her.

I'm done with this year, I'm tired of everyone here

I just need some time alone

Before I'm ready to come back home

There's gotta be something else out there for me

I could feel it in my heart the day I started to dream

I can't let this place keep me down

Madeira (L)

Alright so i'd like to dedicate this post to fam, in Madeira, Portugal. Currently there has been lots of flooding and craap, lots of bridges collapsed. Lots of people are loosing their homes and lots of people are dying. My grandparents have their kitchen flooded and filled with mud. Thankfully not that bad. Just wanted to say i sentence or two is pork chop Gostaria de oferecer minhas condolências a qualquer um que que perdeu amados, devido a este desastre terrível em Portugal. Oro para você cotidiano, e voltas de tudo de esperança para fora tá bom. Envio dinheiro para ajudar para essas pessoas que perderam para casa e eu espero que tudo voltará a normal. Tome Cuidado.

Lets keep Madeira in our prayers.

I Don't Know

I honestly don’t know what to do anymore. I’m sick and tired of trying to impress people. You fucking do everything so you can feel wanted or appreciated. Then it honestly comes around and bites you in the ass. I’m sick of always being there for you. I’m sick of making you feel happy. I’m sick of trying to be your best friend. Could you really be that blind sighted, to realize that the person you need and the person that actually cares about you is right in front of you? You said some things today that actually hurt but I play it off like it doesn’t bother me. But it’s really killing me inside. You probably think of me as some joke I’m sick of being looked down to. All I’m trying to do is for you to accept my advice. To actually listen to what I say for once. I want you to realize that the person you need has been here all along. But I don’t think you’ll ever realize it. You’ll just keep living your life looking for that person, meanwhile that “person,” has been here all along.